Things they don't teach you in Library School

1. You will be called a "libarian" and frequently so but not to be ironic or funny. An astounding amount of the general public actually thinks the word is "libary."
2. People will use anything for a bookmark, and by anything I mean bacon.
3. People leave lots of stuff behind at the library like dentures, one bedroom shoe, or a cordless telephone..
4. Someone will tell you about a good book they once read. They don't know what it was called or who wrote it but it was about a dead guy who might have been famous and the cover was blue. You can actually find them that book.
5. Sometimes a patron will make you mad or even make you cry. Remember, you are the difference between the right answer and the wrong answer. "Actually, sir, you need to lift with your back..."
6. Your teachers were wrong, There are, in fact, stupid questions. These will make your day.
7. You will get a phone call at the circulation desk. It will be from a guy on his cell phone. He will inform you there is no toilet paper in the men's bathroom and can you bring him some. This will not seem weird.
8. You will cull anything to be used as a resource to answer a question or get information. Often it is a book or a computer and once a globe. Occasionally, though, you'll end up using an item from the lost and found box. An oversized left behind umbrella is perfect for poking when you get a report of a dead body in the parking lot. For the record, he wasn't dead but sitting really really still.
9. When people find out what you do, they will respond as follows: "You have to go to school to do that?" or "That must be boring, but it would be nice to sit around and read all day." or "But you don't look like a librarian." What do they teach in library school you ask? Not to reply to any of these with "Wow, you can read?!"
10. Hand on the Bible time: You actually do like your job--except for when you don't, but then you remember #6 and you do again.